When There's No Way, Find It Some Way

“As long as you equate identity with your sexuality, you will limit the potentials of the individual and the species.”  - Seth via Jane Roberts, The Nature of the Psyche.

Seth is saying that identity and sexuality shouldn’t be rolled up as one or we limit growth.  He says a lot of stuff I’m not sure about, but I’m okay with this statement.  I don’t want my identity/overall growth/ soul to be limited by any one kind of thing I do.  And, I don’t want to responsible for holding up the evolution of the entire species, “)!

(I pick this book up once in a while.  It sits on a shelf and then finds its way to different end tables.  I’ve never gotten all the way through it.  I’ve had it for about three years—grabbed it at a garage sale for .25 cents.

(Jane Roberts lived in Austin, but I was too young to be familiar with her writing.  Seth is the narrator source of her books.  He, or it, is an “energy personality” that showed up and imparted wisdom to, or through, Jane during the ‘70s or ‘80s.  

(I found the first of the two “Jane” books the semester after college.  I’d returned to Corpus Christi and didn’t have a job, so I walked five miles each way to the public library a few times a week and randomly pulled books off the shelves.  (Really, I was killing time until a white dove landed on my cranium to impart wisdom and provide a map for my life.)  There, I found The Afterdeath Journal of An American Philosopher: The World View of William James.  In a nutshell, James was a late 19^th century thunker who liked to watch mechanisms and explain how things worked.  So, it doesn’t make sense that this guy who valued “real stuff” could barge into this woman’s mind, Ms. Roberts’, and require her to dictate his observations about the afterlife.  But, he did it. 

(After college, I plucked The Afterdeath Journal… from the library shelves because I had developed a mad crush on James while reading Principles.  (I was a weird kid; but, I’m not as weird anymore, except that I like to think about stuff that most people don’t think about—like “since e=mc2, how much does a thought weigh?” For the pursuit of non-beneficial information, I’m not afraid to pick up a book about a dead empiricist who talks to a clairvoyant.  But—breaking it down into this b&w capsule—, I can certainly see how it all sounds a bit whacked.)  For all that James gave me about the relays between the mind and body, I didn’t much like the stuff he gave Jane about the afterlife.  I forgot about her book, and it was a few decades before I bumped into this other book, The Nature of the Psyche.)

Everything that I said up to this point has nothing to do with what I want to say, except that this energy-personality says a lot about the nature of our sexual tendencies.  He/it explains that all humans are bisexual as a norm but express love as homo and/or heterosexuals. This sounds so simple that it’s almost not worth saying. 

But, think about it. With all things being unequal—if we are all bisexual—no human is ever displaying its nature correctly unless it has both sex organs and is using both of them at the same time.  How would that work?  Each human would need two partners; and, those partners would need two partners; and, those partners would need two partners.  When would the insanity end and how would anyone ever get the schedules coordinated?  I’m just trying to get one partner.  Even Love Heroine would have trouble with this dynamic. 

According to this “higher intelligence,”* I’m bisexual by nature.  The majority of humans don’t know that by choosing to be heterosexual, they’re going against their nature which is bisexuality which has no outlet unless you happen to have a dual sex organ body. 

The reality is, each person has two options—hetero or homosexual activities. Since the beginning of time, both options have been available and whoever doesn’t choose what the majority chooses is wrong.  If there isn’t suppose to be more than one option, why is there more than one option?  Because there is.

Juxtaposing Seth, the majority of humans believe we are heterosexual by nature.  That must mean, I’m gay by nurture.  This deduction rests on an assumption that nature is comparable with nurture.  But nature and nurture have two different operating systems that show little to no regard for the other.  They feed into me which has my own operating system. Therefore, this is a disturbing equation that shouldn’t include an equal sign.  2+2=4 and 1+3=4 but 1 or 3 do not = 2. See my point?  

A new day is dawning and some smart scientist needs to present another ‘n’ word.  She or he should dismiss this simple math and use the new math— “The sum of the parts is different than the whole.”  Because that math births a third option.

If I’m gay by nurture, the evil They-Them twins say that someone didn’t nurture me good enough.  Why can’t I be gay by good nurture?  I can’t remember one birds and bees talk that caused me to not like boys.  I was very excited about boys until I became more excited about girls.  It’s that simple.

Maybe, most possibly, my soul has a fuller expression with women…in bed, in my bank account, and in life. I know that I’ve been attracted to enough men to feel the energies in my sacral chakra light up, but something always stopped me from wanting to go farther.  <ENTER> the shrink. 

But, there’s no reason to ring a therapist.  There’s nothing wrong with my option.

1. I am a human who was given free will...and two options.  

2. I am an intelligent and altruistic being who gives more than she takes to the flora, fauna, and humans who take for granted the flora and fauna. 

3. And in at least one plane of reality, I am an American who has been promised, “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” (with that ridiculously attractive cop on Lip Service). 

A heterosexual man doesn’t have to explain why he isn’t a practicing bisexual.  He can choose to express love only with females.  According to Seth, the hetero man is simply in the opposite camp.  This heterosexual male isn’t any more normal than a homosexual.  Therefore, it shouldn’t matter that my nurture made a perfect choice that doesn’t reflect the perfect choice of another person's nurture.

See where all this thinking gets a girl?  It’s a mess.  All I can say is when there’s no way, do it some way.  Any kind of love is better than no love at all.

* I put "higher intelligence" in quotations because he may know a lot of things about humans but he isn't human and so he can't be "higher" in all things.  Right?