A Justifiable Want

When two girls break up, you lose stuff.  For a hetero couple, the man takes the man things and the woman takes the woman things, dividing up neutral things that divide naturally or with a chainsaw. But when two girls break up, there’s a chance that the one who professed love will take the shirt off your back.  So, about 25 work days after a breakup, your cube mates start noticing that your outfits don’t exactly match and something seems to be missing.

My first girlfriend and I were exactly the same size in blouses, pants and shoes.  We had just about the same taste in clothes, so when we split there wasn’t a big difference.  I took half of everything, and that division, in new math, left the underemployed grad with not much.  The current ex and I were like Mutt and Jeff. (We’ve got to get a lesbian version of this saying.  How about Melissa and Kristen?  No. They’re non-lesbians and it doesn’t flow.  Rosie and Kelli?  Well, that doesn’t work. I’ll talk to my marketing department.) Ex#3 wears bigger everything except I have bigger feet.  The only things we could share were props: purses, jewelry, etc. 

After nine months on an austere budget, I’m beginning to worry that my boss is going to pull me in his office and say, “You’ve got to invest in new clothes.” That would be embarrassing—because he’d really be grasping for something else.  It’s not that I don’t have professional clothes, I don’t have enough sparkle.  I just haven’t taken the time to go get some since she pruned the jewelry tree.

Lesbians don’t have enough of the kinds of traditions that are on the outside of the pleasure palace, heat hut, spark sack.  But, I can count on the high probability that one half of a lesbian couple is going to buy jewelry because she likes it, likes to buy presents for her girl, or works the counter at Macy’s.  My missing flares indicate that I haven’t taken care of my needs—even if they seem frivolous. 

So, I must say this often, “If I do this for her or I do these things while I’m with her, I can do them for me.”  I guess I needed to realize that sometimes what looks frivolous is a justifiable want.  For that reason, I’m heading to Austin for Pride.  While there, I’ll write the script for a lesbian film with that title.   I can’t wait for casting call when I have to sleep with both girl leads, “).