Guest Blogger #2: Finally Found the One

I spent most of my life wondering if i would remain alone or find love with that significant other.  I really didn't date much or put myself out there to finding that special someone.  I traded regretful dates with guys before I came out.  I was in a precipice of uncertainty and confusion about my perceptions and feelings toward wanting more with any female friend.  My youthful days in educational establishments, I remember being single and it was just helpful and very simple. There was not a worry that phased my eye, toward my own thoughts of being single.  I enlisted in the United States Army. This enlistment decision had served to be of great help in openness to my lesbian inquiries.  In my mind, being in the Army had opened heavens' gates to more women who freely, with no confusional chains liked other women.

I dated someone and it really didn't last it was bad from the start.  So I told myself I was not going to go looking for anyone it really seemed easier being a lone.  But one day I saw this women and just something inside me said she is someone special.  I felt compelled to talk to her, I didn't right away because she was new and I didn't want to bombard her.  For me I had feelings for her since the day I laid eyes on her.  I waited a couple days and then just out of the blue struck up a small conversation with her, it wasn't a long one just enough to get her to notice me.  Then from there on I just tried to make sure she still noticed me and that I was there.  Finally one day I got up the courage to ask her for her phone number, she gave it to me with no problem, she seemed happy to be giving it to me.  As soon as I had it i text her just to make sure she had my number and we could talk.  We started making plans to hangout nothing big and other people would be a long so it really wouldn't be a date or anything.  That weekend we went to a water slide and she flirted with me, it made me feel so good inside.  I loved just to talk to her and be around her.  From the start when I talked to her and was around her I just felt so comfortable.  But that weekend before the weekend was up I said something I shouldn't have because I scared myself about how I felt about her.  I thought I had screwed up royally with her.

I had to have surgery and she went out to the field for work.  So we didn't have much contact with each other, it made me realized how much I really liked her.  When she got back from the field I did anything I could to find her.  She was still nice to me, so I invited her over others where coming over too.  I didn't want her to feel awkward so I tried to make it a group thing.  I text her and I really wasn't sure she was going to come over.  So I just kept talking to her and trying to get her to come over.  By the time she came over everyone else was leaving so it was just to two of us.  We hung out and she stayed the night, but again and i don't know why I said what I said before again.  I was so mad at myself.  I wasn't sure I would ever have a chance with her again.  But I some how edged my way back in and told myself I was not going to screw things up again.

I am happy to say we are going on four months together and are happier then ever could imagine.  We have gone on trips together taking all the time we can to be together.  She makes me so happy, on a bad day she can make things better for me.  She says the same thing about me.  Every morning when I wake up I feel so grateful for having her in my life, I couldn't ask for anything more.  Now that I have meet her I can't imagine her not in my life.  This is going to be the first Holidays I have someone special I love in my life.  We are spending the Holidays together going away just to get away with each other.   I just can not wait.  I have fallen in love and it feels so good.

-B.B.