Dragging my bag
into my most-often-visited Hampton, I see a couple that is smoking (cigarettes). They are inhaling and then throwing back
their heads to blow the smoke up and away.
For some reason, people who do this are most often smiling on their way
down. Isn’t that odd?
Usually, I abhor
smokers because I had to hate the smell and residue in order to stop the habit
that perpetuated for the length of a ski tip (+) 9.99 more years. But watching the current strangers in this
ritual, I was envious.
"Wouldn’t it be great if I had a partner and we shared a vice?" I thought.
#1 had vices but ours weren’t the same; #2 had very few; and, #3 was addicted to work which excluded me entirely. So, I’ve never had a partner who might share my tailored vice. #1, #2, & #3 (as well as my mom and siblings and bestys) would probably scream, “Thank the good Lord!” I did have an unrelenting gerbil-motor that kept my body moving furiously forward during most of the waking hours. I can’t imagine the nonsense I would have spun into if I had a like-minded partner.
"Wouldn’t it be great if I had a partner and we shared a vice?" I thought.
#1 had vices but ours weren’t the same; #2 had very few; and, #3 was addicted to work which excluded me entirely. So, I’ve never had a partner who might share my tailored vice. #1, #2, & #3 (as well as my mom and siblings and bestys) would probably scream, “Thank the good Lord!” I did have an unrelenting gerbil-motor that kept my body moving furiously forward during most of the waking hours. I can’t imagine the nonsense I would have spun into if I had a like-minded partner.
Anyhoo, it seemed
to me that this couple (and the various others that I’ve seen together at this
very same entrance) gather there to share something special. I’m really, really envious. It’s not that I want a vice that’s going to
kill me and my lover (unless we can die together because I’m still working
through my co-D stuff), but it seems these guys channel life and put it right here,
right now. They aren’t thinking about
tomorrow and the what-ifs; they are saying, “Let’s go have us time.” I’m not saying it’s
the best form of camaraderie, I’m just saying I finally get it.
If you’re ready to
tune me out because smoking leads to death—and there’s not
much room for discussion—, I agree. But there’s
something to this ritualistic simpatico. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend who is going
through a divorce.
“What poor guy will
put up with her crap?” He referenced his soon-to-be Ex.
“A guy who benefits
from her vices,” I replied. "She'll find a guy who lets her do her thing so he can do his."
This led us to a
discussion about ‘normal’. He fought to acquire it for their family. He couldn't understand the disconnect—the where, when, how of it.
“She didn’t want your version of normal,” I
said with a neutral tone. "She's still figuring out what that looks like for her."
She wanted anything
but normal because that hinders the odyssey, and she’ll find a guy who is captaining his own peculiar little vessel. He won’t mind that she’s not available and she
won’t feel like she’s supposed to be doing something normal. Together, they'll both have someone who isn’t creating an agenda that doesn’t fit.
I guess what I’m
trying to say is that couples who share compatible enough vices are living
right here, right now. Sure, they’re
throwing all hell to the wind, but I could've used a bit more of that spirit
in a previous relationship(s). Going
forward, my pursuit will be to create a vice that doesn’t steer my body toward
a cancer center but doesn’t keep me horizontal on the couch after the nightly
news.
If this entry ping’d
an old memory, send your comment or full story.
Certainly your vice has been a burden or a benefit; certainly you have a
friend with a vice that is centering or riveting for her and the ones who watch. Have I mentioned that you can use this space for telling stories about your
friends’ fun and foibles?
Speaking of friends
with various ways, whoever set in motion “2500 Lesbian Linking Lands” you and your buddies who are abroad created a serious international peeps list. Until recently, that particular link popped up with most of the newbies. Some still check in to catch up
on what’s going on. In fact, this list of various visitors is a good representation of an average month:
It’s pretty awesome, huh?
I’d like to welcome
the latest arrivals: Italy, Thailand, Indonesia, Mexico, and Austria! You’re in good company, “).
I have an issue. I don't like to write in black and white. I certainly don't see the world in that way at all. Not to say grey, but; "Live in living COLOR."
ReplyDeleteBut as it took me as long to type in this whole longggg address, I may as well make the most of it;-)
I pondered as I was nursing looming tendonitis from keyboarding the previously mentioned address; Is this rather cute woman I've been sending often rambling, lacking any sense of order sending me on a wild goose chase, just to send me to the land of "yer weird & bugger off?" I'm glad that isn't the case... yet.
I smoke like a flipping chimney out of Mary Poppins. She was kind of a prudish nanny and supercalifagilisticxbalocous aside, Miss. Poppins would have a heck of a time getting me off the ceiling. Weeee, flight from laughing too much!
Ah, yes, my smoking. true it is smelly habit. I started only five years ago, in Baton Rouge to be exact. Somebody said 90% of models smoke for weight control. Boom! I found me the nearest 7/11 and bought Malboro's because that was only cigarette I knew the name of. Better for the waist line than bags of Bit-o-Honey's.
I will quit, someday. I will just wake up one morning and be done with them. That day has yet to arrive. Smokers are now quite a sub culture.
We are banished to the outside nearly everywhere & when it is -15 degrees outside ya tend to band together.
Normal. You mentioned normality as being individualized, so true Grasshopper. Getting older, 'tis good to embrace ones individuality. FFolks, either like me or more often tThan not, after the polite niceities (so no how to spell that) people either think i'm a hoot or a glaze comes over their eyes as they look for a quick exit. I happen to like being quirky and wow, what I wouldn't do to to meet a woman who also isn't afraid to jump in puddles and are willing to not only take a risk on occaision, but to stop dead in their tracks because there is a field of daisies. Slow down enough to appriciate the beauty that surrounds us.
My dinner is ready. Loaded potatoe sticks and warm cookies. Yeah, that's the way to stay healthy ;-O
Goodbye and good luck i'd now like to sign, from the cheerleading squad of Edison High!
Hope to see you on Brenda soon. I like the way your brain works. - Marit